Just Tuesdays

I haven't been on here in soo soo long.  I sometimes wonder why I have a blog if I'm not using it.  Maybe it's just for days like this, when my thoughts seem to want to come OUT of my head and onto the screen.  I started going to a bible study last Tuesday.  This may not sound like some huge-ish deal to you, but I've never ever been to one before.  Yes, I grew up going to church, and yes, that church did offer bible studies.  I just didn't make the time/wasn't interested.  Horrible of me, I know. BUT, I'm going to my first ever now.  Ironic part?  It isn't even at my own church.  It's at my daughter's school.  There was a flyer in June's school folder giving information on an upcoming bible study with FREE childcare on Tuesday mornings.  And thanks to my sweet sister-in-law's excitement, I decided to go.  I'll be honest, the first shindig wasn't quite what I'd hoped.  It's a Beth Moore bible study (with the way people talk about her, I figure no explanation necessary), and I'd never read anything of hers, or heard her speak.  I sort of wish someone would've prepared me for the..the loudness coming out of that tiny woman.  Look, she's got big hair, weighs maybe 110 lbs, and SHOUTS.  If you know me, I don't really like a lot of loud.  Sometimes I unconsciously shush crowds in public.  Needless to say, I was holding back a lot of shushes during the first video.  I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, I was watching her hair NOT MOVE an inch the entire time she flitted around, and the volume of the lady distracted me from the study.  Ok, I let those two things distract me.  Anyway, after that rough introduction to a Beth Moore bible study, I wasn't sure exactly how I felt about it.  But I came back this week bearing 47 hot, fresh-from-the-oven biscuits and jam.  I made 50, but June and Abigail smelled them.  They are my biscuit babies and would gladly live on crisco, flour, and milk.  

Today was quite a bit more eye-opening.  Her hair was still big, but what she was talking about just kept hitting home.  The title of the study is Fruits of the Spirit.  A pretty generic, christiany name that I didn't really realize the meaning of.  But now I do.  And now all I can think about today is the Spirit in me and what it has helped me do since I was 11.  I don't think I ever really appreciated all the work and effort God has put into guiding me and forgiving me.  Because, trust me, I take a lot of work.  Ask John.  Or read my last blog.  I need some strict guidance to get me down the right road every morning when I wake up.  Because most days I don't go down the right road.  Actually I haven't had a really great day in a long time.  I have consumed myself with how many hours Abigail sleeps (or doesn't), how many days John is gone every month, how much money we don't have to do the things I want to do, and how much happier our family would be if...fill in the blank, but it's not something we already have or already do (of course).  But after reading my bible (I kind of just want to say it again, because it's still such a novelty to me) But after reading my bible, I know what my problems stem from and now I have an idea of how I can work on them a little every day.  No need to go into details, especially since I hear Abigail waking up, but I am happy that I'm doing my first ever bible study, reading my bible, and seeing the parallels between all those people Paul talked to and myself.  Abrupt end, baby calls!